Thank you for your kind and concerned thoughts last week as I struggled through a difficult time. I'm pleased to say that I'm feeling better physically, probably for the first time in close to a month. In other words, I'm feeling almost normal, albeit, still fatigued. As my kids say (and they are only echoing my words), "Mom's always tired!" They have late start on Wednesdays (don't have to be at school until 9:45) and I normally don't set my alarm on Wednesdays. However, I *do* normally wake up at a reasonable time! Today, I woke up when my phone rang at 9:25 a.m.! I asked the kids why they didn't wake me up, they said it was because I get cranky when they wake me up ... which is true on weekends when I don't have to be somewhere, but not true when I need to get them out the door! Love my Wenlets!
I had my monthly tumor marker measurement and as expected, the numbers are continuing to rise. They increased by 50% this past month and are now higher than they have ever been. We don't know what this means and will continue to monitor as we have been. It could be that the cancer is progressing or it could mean that the existing cancer is simply releasing more of the protein than it did before. Intestinal inflammation can also cause an increase in this number. I will have my normal scans on May 12 which may (or may not) give us more information.
I also spoke briefly to an endocrinologist about my diabetes medications. I will see him for a full appointment on Tuesday. His initial reaction was to get me off my current drugs and onto insulin (as I requested) since insulin has no side effects.
A friend's life was celebrated and mourned on Monday as we said goodbye, far too soon. However, as one friend keeps reminding me, the measure of our lives isn't in the number of years we live. Bill influenced thousands around him and he will be missed by everyone.
Conversations at his service mentioned the impact he had and how hard it would be to measure up the "bar that Bill set." Who can be like Bill?
It very suddenly hit me ... God doesn't want any of us to be like Bill. He created Bill to be Bill and that's who we celebrated ... the unique and wonderful person known as Bill. God created me to be me and that's who he wants me to be ... Vickie ... a just as loved child of God that Bill is. I am to set my mind on Christ and be like HIM, not on others around me.
So I continue living each day, one day at a time, celebrating the miracle that each day is. I am fortunate to be doing as well as I am. I will admit to being very glad that I'm feeling better, though! Feeling sick is no fun and it's hard to keep your focus in the midst of pain.
To end on a funny note ... I had lunch with a friend today and we were sitting in an outdoor patio. A seemingly homeless man approached each table, asking for money. As he asked us, we both looked him in the eye and gave our negative responses. This man looked closely at my gorgeous blond friend and asked her, "Are you married?" She laughed and said, "No." He then asked, "Well, do you have a boyfriend?"
My friend and I looked at each other. Neither of us could believe this was happening. She replied, "No, I don't have a boyfriend."
The man came back with, "I'm available and you're available ... we should get together."
Seriously? I stepped into the conversation and said firmly, "She's not looking." We both repeated these words and he left.
We both held it together until he was out of earshot, but we were both blown away by the encounter. It was funnier than it sounds on paper, but later, the sadness struck me. Here was a man asking for money for whatever reason, but made it known that he was available for a relationship, even though, by all appearances, he had nothing to bring to a relationship. Nothing but himself. (But available only to my blond friend ... I was chopped liver as far as he was concerned!)
And isn't that all any of us want? To be known and valued by those around us? To be loved?
I know I am loved. All of you show this to me in more ways than you can imagine. The challenge is on, though. How can we show love to those who don't seem to be able to offer anything in return?
We simply do it by our actions. Love is a verb. It's a "do-something" word.
Let's all "do something" for someone today.
I had my monthly tumor marker measurement and as expected, the numbers are continuing to rise. They increased by 50% this past month and are now higher than they have ever been. We don't know what this means and will continue to monitor as we have been. It could be that the cancer is progressing or it could mean that the existing cancer is simply releasing more of the protein than it did before. Intestinal inflammation can also cause an increase in this number. I will have my normal scans on May 12 which may (or may not) give us more information.
I also spoke briefly to an endocrinologist about my diabetes medications. I will see him for a full appointment on Tuesday. His initial reaction was to get me off my current drugs and onto insulin (as I requested) since insulin has no side effects.
A friend's life was celebrated and mourned on Monday as we said goodbye, far too soon. However, as one friend keeps reminding me, the measure of our lives isn't in the number of years we live. Bill influenced thousands around him and he will be missed by everyone.
Conversations at his service mentioned the impact he had and how hard it would be to measure up the "bar that Bill set." Who can be like Bill?
It very suddenly hit me ... God doesn't want any of us to be like Bill. He created Bill to be Bill and that's who we celebrated ... the unique and wonderful person known as Bill. God created me to be me and that's who he wants me to be ... Vickie ... a just as loved child of God that Bill is. I am to set my mind on Christ and be like HIM, not on others around me.
So I continue living each day, one day at a time, celebrating the miracle that each day is. I am fortunate to be doing as well as I am. I will admit to being very glad that I'm feeling better, though! Feeling sick is no fun and it's hard to keep your focus in the midst of pain.
To end on a funny note ... I had lunch with a friend today and we were sitting in an outdoor patio. A seemingly homeless man approached each table, asking for money. As he asked us, we both looked him in the eye and gave our negative responses. This man looked closely at my gorgeous blond friend and asked her, "Are you married?" She laughed and said, "No." He then asked, "Well, do you have a boyfriend?"
My friend and I looked at each other. Neither of us could believe this was happening. She replied, "No, I don't have a boyfriend."
The man came back with, "I'm available and you're available ... we should get together."
Seriously? I stepped into the conversation and said firmly, "She's not looking." We both repeated these words and he left.
We both held it together until he was out of earshot, but we were both blown away by the encounter. It was funnier than it sounds on paper, but later, the sadness struck me. Here was a man asking for money for whatever reason, but made it known that he was available for a relationship, even though, by all appearances, he had nothing to bring to a relationship. Nothing but himself. (But available only to my blond friend ... I was chopped liver as far as he was concerned!)
And isn't that all any of us want? To be known and valued by those around us? To be loved?
I know I am loved. All of you show this to me in more ways than you can imagine. The challenge is on, though. How can we show love to those who don't seem to be able to offer anything in return?
We simply do it by our actions. Love is a verb. It's a "do-something" word.
Let's all "do something" for someone today.
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