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Doctors' Visits

2/25/2013

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Many thanks to Bill Devanney for driving me to San Francisco today.  He hung around the waiting rooms for a long time!

I saw the medical oncologist first.  We are still in the "wait-and-see" mode regarding the success of the current treatment plan (three drugs) and will have scans done in April to determine of there is disease regression.  She did say that she doesn't think that cancer is "exploding" throughout my body and that she feels it is at least being controlled right now.

It's possible that the underarm pain I've been having is a side effect of radiation or it's possible that it's a result of the lesion I have on my rib.  The lesion is on the side, so it would make sense that it would cause pain there.  She wants to do a biopsy on the rib lesion because it's the easiest to access with the least amount of risk.  As cancer metastasizes throughout the body, its receptor status can change.  (In short, receptors are part of the "fueling" process of cancer.)  My original tumor was estrogen and progesterone positive and Her2 negative.  The current treatment plan is based on the original tumor and we need to make sure that there hasn't been major changes that would invalidate the treatment.  I will probably have the biopsy within the next three weeks. 

There was concern that I've lost 20 pounds in two months.  They understand that eating is difficult for me right now and simply request that I try to get at least one protein serving in me each day as I recover from radiation.

I met with the neurosurgeon later in the day and praise God, my neck is healing very well!  The radiation was successful in cleaning up the area.  The neurosurgeon's exact words were, "It looks very good!"  He does not think I am going to need any surgery in the future on my neck.  I can now take the brace off at night to sleep.  I will follow up with him in six weeks and there's a good chance that the brace will be removed for good then.

I am still under restrictive orders . . . no lifting anything over five pounds.  I've learned how to do things in the house with this restriction and I feel like we're in a good groove.  As the neurosurgeon says, "No sense coming this far, though, only to mess it up because you try to do too much too soon."

I'm still having coughing spasms and I still have no voice, but both of these should resolve in a week or two.  I've made it through the day without vomiting (Hallelujah!) and I'm hopeful that I've turned the corner on this phase of treatment.

We continue to give God praise for all that He's doing in our lives.  We continue to ask him to teach us *his* will for our lives and not our own.  My constant prayer to him is for him to continue to teach me how to love his people.

I'm learning from all of you!  Thank YOU for loving me!
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Radiation finished!

2/22/2013

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I was going to try to write something witty and clever or whatever and I just don't have it in me right now.

Radiation is finished and I am grateful.  I am grateful for treatment options such as this that help deal with pain relief, etc.  I feel much better than I did four weeks ago when I started . . . at least, cancer-wise, I feel better.

Radiation has taken its toll, though.  I am exhausted and my throat is riddled with sores, making it extremely difficult to swallow.  It's dry, making me cough all the time.  Coughing triggers a gag reflex which triggers acid reflux and I've spent more time vomiting this week than I'd like!  I thought I was going to make it all day yesterday without getting sick, but at 9:30 p.m, I tossed my cookies (not that I had been eating cookies!).

I also have a metallic taste in my mouth that makes everything taste bad.  However, today, I ate part of a turkey bacon sandwich and about a half dozen french fries.  I figured I needed to get some fat into me, as well as some proteins.  It's been seven hours and I'm still holding strong!

Things should steadily improve over the next two weeks.  I will see both the oncologist and neurosurgeon on Monday (the 25th) for blood work and for xrays to get a preliminary look at how my neck is healing.

In the meantime, the kids and I have had a good week with their winter break, while Art's been traveling on business.  He's now back and we're looking forward to a family weekend together.
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Food Woes

2/19/2013

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I would appreciate prayers that my dinner stays down. I literally "lost my
lunch" earlier and there wasn't much to lose. I just worried down three
dumplings and I think I'm going to stop with those and not push my
luck. Still hurts to swallow, all food tastes terrible, I'm not very hungry to begin with and now I have
an acid reflux sensation that is triggered by the slightest cough . . .
which happens about every five minutes. Only two more radiation
sessions left!

Thank you for being "love showing up" every day.
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Only five left! 

2/13/2013

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I am 3/4 finished with my radiation treatments!  I have only five left . . . two more this week and three next week.

The pain medications are working well to manage the throat pain.  It's not going to "feel good" until I'm finished, but the feeling of swallowing broken glass is not as prevalent as it was last week.  However, my throat feels more dry than ever, another common side effect from the radiation treatments. This results in a hacking cough that gets very close to nausea.   I walk around with low-calorie Gatorade all day long, trying to get as much liquid in me as possible.  I also set aside a couple of times of day to just eat, knowing that I'm never going to feel like eating with this throat, but eating for nutrition. 

Radiation fatigue has set in and I now need to take a nap each day.  In addition, I find myself needing to go to bed earlier each day.  This, too, is temporary, and will recede almost immediately after the end of treatments.

My neurosurgeon called yesterday and he's got me set up for follow-up x-rays on the 25th.  I will also see the oncologist on the 25th. 

I will receive my second monthly bone strengthening injection on Saturday, as well as my second monthly shut-down-the-ovaries injection.  After that, Art and I will spend the day in the city, celebrating my 50th birthday.

Yes, I get to turn 50 on Friday!  I am so excited!  I know that it's only a number and that the number in and of itself doesn't mean much, but it's a nice number.  I will be hosting a cake party from 11:00 - 2:00 at my house on Friday, featuring a poppy seed cake from Prolific Oven!  Anyone and everyone is welcome . . . let me know if you need the address. (No lunch . . . just cake and coffee/tea, etc.)

"All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.  Surely the people are grass.  The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.  (Isaiah 40:6-8)


Regardless of whether I live 50 years, 52 years, 60 years or 90 years . . . they are "grass" years.  They will wither and fall, but God's word is forever.  It is still my prayer that I respond to God's call to "love my people" because HIS love is eternal.
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Sleep is good

2/7/2013

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I took the narcotic last night and it did make a difference in my quality
of sleep.  While it never completely diminished the pain, it allowed me
to relax for extended periods of time, which allowed me to sleep more
efficiently.  It wore off right around the time I needed to wake up. 

However, now that it's morning, I'm faced with the incredibly sore throat and a pounding headache.  I don't know if the headache is a side effect of the
narcotic, but I'm hoping to address both issues with 800 mg of
ibuprofen.  The thought of eating is most unattractive, though.

Thank you for your prayer support.  It's so very vital to me and our community.
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Halfway done!

2/6/2013

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I have now finished 10 of my 20 radiation treatments.  I adore my radiation team and wish I had met all of them under different circumstances!  Kevin, Emily, Marissa, Edwin, Sofia, Chao, Robert, George (and any others I've forgotten to mention) . . . all of you absolutely ROCK!  Thank you for caring for me in every way possible.

The sore throat I was warned about last week settled in over the weekend.  It's very difficult for me to swallow and to be honest, it just plain hurts all the time.  I talked to the doctor today about it and I'm now the unhappy owner of a narcotic drug for pain.  I'm going to start out taking it at night to see if it increases my quality of sleep, which may help me do better throughout the day.  He told me that unfortunately, the sore throat will get worse before it gets better and that I will feel it into my chest as well.  (Reminder . . . the C2 - T2 vertebrae are being radiated.  This is the entire area behind my throat and into my upper shoulders.)  I also received some specialized mouthwash that can help my throat as well.

I've had an "interesting" pain under my left arm for a few weeks and as most of the other pains have diminished, it now seems more pronounced.  It's affected by movement and weight (leaning on my elbows), so definitely seems muscle related.  The doctor felt for lumps today and couldn't find any and to be honest, I did a pretty thorough comparison of my two sides while in the shower this morning and felt no difference.  (My primary cancer was on my right side.)  As the doctor and I discussed this pain, he pulled up a dermatome chart that points out what nerve areas are affected by what vertebrae.  Turns out that this underarm area is impacted by the T1 and T2 and that the sensation of seemingly increased pain (it's hard to determine these things) is most likely a side effect of the radiation to that area.  Because the other areas have greatly diminished in pain levels, he expects this area to diminish as well over the course of treatment.

If you'd like to see this chart, you can find it at:  http://www.backpain-guide.com/Chapter_Fig_folders/Ch06_Path_Folder/4Radiculopathy.html 

While I'm still sleeping reasonably well, I'm not sleeping as well as I'd like to be.  Radiation fatigue is setting in, so it may be a few weeks before I feel rested again.

As I've been studying and reading, I came across this:  "To acknowledge you are dying is to let go of the future. It is to live only in the present." Granted, I'm still hoping and praying for a future, but this statement really resonated with me.  (NOTE:  The future that is referred to in this statement is a physical future in our human bodies here on earth.)

What does it mean to "live in the present?"  As I continue to pour my heart out to God, my repeated question is, "What should I do with my remaining time, regardless of how long that is?"  

I keep hearing (sometimes, audibly), "love my people."  Just as Jesus told Peter to "feed my sheep," I'm being told to "love my people."  I don't know what that means, either!  What does it mean "to love?"

While in China, I taught a session on "love" at least once a year, if not more often.  As Valentine's Day approaches, the concept of love is "in the air!"  Love is action.  Love is not an emotion, but is something you do.

Love is patient, love is kind

It does not envy, it does not boast

It is not proud, it is not rude

It is not self-seeking

It is not easily angered

It keeps no record of wrong

Love does not delight in evil

But rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts

Always hopes, always perseveres

I'm so flawed and so critical.  Oh, Lord, teach me to love your people.  Show me the way of love and show me how to follow that way.

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Seven Radiations Down

2/1/2013

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I've now completed seven radiation sessions . . . thirteen left.  I'm beginning to feel the fatigue a bit.  Yesterday, I sat down to watch a video and fell asleep instead.  Also, this morning, as I was waiting for my appointment, I fell asleep sitting up in the chair!

I was warned to expect a sore throat by next week.  So far, it's minimal, more like a rawness more than anything else.

Pain from the cancer remains minimal.  I have more pain in the small of my back (very little) than the neck, which means that the radiation is doing what it should be doing.  Since the other cancer is being addressed by the systemic treatment, it will take longer for that pain to go away.   I have to remain careful to not overexert myself even though I'm feeling much better.

Rachel was hit by a stomach bug.  I had to pick her up at school.  Poor girl vomited for eight hours.  However, she's now feeling much better.  She enjoyed spending the day at home, cuddling with Jesse, the kitten.  (Jesse is settling in well, but is still a bit skittish.  He has "chosen" Rachel as "his" human.)

We continue to be grateful for the many blessings in our lives.  Our cups overflow!
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    God's Story

    _I believe we all have a story. This blog records my story and how I've lived with breast cancer both as a primary disease and a terminal disease.  I believe this is all a part of God's story for my life. This blog unapologetically includes all areas of my life: my faith, my family and my advocacy for change in the metastatic breast cancer world.

      

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