Last week, I had a brain MRI that revealed eight small superficial tumors on the outside of my brain. The way the report was written, it was indicated that these tumors were consistent with cancer being in the lining of the brain, which is typically the final stage of life with cancer. When combined with the fact that I have widespread disease throughout the rest of my body, the report, along with other research documents, made me face the reality that my time left on this earth was relatively short and could possibly be measured in weeks. I voluntarily took myself out of driving as all documents seemed to indicate a high risk of seizure and I didn't want to hurt or kill someone if I had a seizure while driving.
You've heard me say that a visit to my oncologist is an all-day affair in that she spends time with patients as needed. Yesterday, I was that patient ... she spent about an hour with me. She was rather irritated with the wording of the report because there is nothing about the scans that indicates cancer in the lining of the brain. Yes, I still have eight tumors on my brain, but I do not have cancer in the brain lining. There's a big difference. I
I am allowed to drive! I was told those who have seizures due to brain tumors, typically do so when the tumors first present. One of these tumors was slightly noticeable back in January (easier to see now on the January scan now that they know it is there) and the others have formed since then. I was told that if I was going to have a seizure, it would have happened already. My being able to drive makes life so much easier.
I looked my oncologist in the eye and asked, "Does this mean I'm not in the final weeks of my life?"
"Of course not! You're not even close."
"Can I cry now?" She handed me a box of tissue and I wept in gratitude.
The current plan is to continue my systemic chemotherapy as it's controlling the liver and bones rather well and is relatively easily tolerated. My case goes before the Gamma Knife Review Board on Thursday (It only meets once a week.) and they will make a recommendation on the type of cranial radiotherapy best suited for me. Radiation will probably be in the next two weeks or so.
I have mild neurological symptoms. I have mild weakness in my left leg and I struggle to find words at times or slightly mix up sounds/syllables in words. (For example, yesterday, I was trying to say the words, "wall flower" and it came out as "wild flower." I caught it right away, but this happens more frequently than is normal.) Last night, the left side of my chin went numb, as well as some increased tingling/pins/pricks feeling in the triceps of my left arm. Radiation should eliminate these symptoms quite well.
Here I am. Another day with another miracle. I still have cancer ... it's still in my brain ... but as far as well can tell, it's not the end of the line. We shall see, though. All I know is that I'm still here today.
That's good enough for now, thanks be to God.
You've heard me say that a visit to my oncologist is an all-day affair in that she spends time with patients as needed. Yesterday, I was that patient ... she spent about an hour with me. She was rather irritated with the wording of the report because there is nothing about the scans that indicates cancer in the lining of the brain. Yes, I still have eight tumors on my brain, but I do not have cancer in the brain lining. There's a big difference. I
I am allowed to drive! I was told those who have seizures due to brain tumors, typically do so when the tumors first present. One of these tumors was slightly noticeable back in January (easier to see now on the January scan now that they know it is there) and the others have formed since then. I was told that if I was going to have a seizure, it would have happened already. My being able to drive makes life so much easier.
I looked my oncologist in the eye and asked, "Does this mean I'm not in the final weeks of my life?"
"Of course not! You're not even close."
"Can I cry now?" She handed me a box of tissue and I wept in gratitude.
The current plan is to continue my systemic chemotherapy as it's controlling the liver and bones rather well and is relatively easily tolerated. My case goes before the Gamma Knife Review Board on Thursday (It only meets once a week.) and they will make a recommendation on the type of cranial radiotherapy best suited for me. Radiation will probably be in the next two weeks or so.
I have mild neurological symptoms. I have mild weakness in my left leg and I struggle to find words at times or slightly mix up sounds/syllables in words. (For example, yesterday, I was trying to say the words, "wall flower" and it came out as "wild flower." I caught it right away, but this happens more frequently than is normal.) Last night, the left side of my chin went numb, as well as some increased tingling/pins/pricks feeling in the triceps of my left arm. Radiation should eliminate these symptoms quite well.
Here I am. Another day with another miracle. I still have cancer ... it's still in my brain ... but as far as well can tell, it's not the end of the line. We shall see, though. All I know is that I'm still here today.
That's good enough for now, thanks be to God.
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