Michael is extremely needle phobic. I'm hoping that he is outgrowing this as he'll have some shots coming up in the next couple of years. I have literally had to sit on the floor, crossing his arms over his body, crossing my legs over his in order to hold him down for him to get a shot before. It's not fun for him, nor is it fun for anyone else in the room. Mentally, he wants to be strong, but emotionally, he can't handle it. He's had to have general anesthesia for dental work . . . his phobia is that strong.
I, too, absolutely HATE getting poked with needles! Of course, as an adult, I can't get away with kicking and screaming and throwing a fit to avoid them. As a cancer patient, there's absolutely no way I can avoid them.
Every time I go to the doctor's office, I get poked. It may be for a simple blood check (three or four times per chemo cycle), or it may be for the actual chemotherapy and support drugs. My skin infections have resulted in my being stabbed with needles in order to drain them. To be honest, I now have a physical reaction to the mere sight of needles . . . my stomach knots up and I can feel a physical ache. I have olfactory memory . . . the sight of needles triggers the smell of chemicals. Today, I broke out in a sweat while waiting for the lab technician to prick my finger for my blood check. I know the pain is very brief, but it doesn't make it any more pleasant.
I *love* Michael's drawing. He is so supportive of what I'm going through as it helps him address his core terror. He's not been in the same room with me and he's not seen any of these needles, but he asks me about them almost every time I have something done. Yes, my stomach clenched to see his picture and that "smell" came up again. I almost cried, though. I felt like he truly understood something in a way that no one else does.
The shots and pokes are good for me. However, the best shot, indeed, is a "Love Shot." Best medicine of all.
A new friend of mine in Hong Kong, also with cancer, said to me, "I'm so sorry you're having to go through so much." The words that almost came out of my mouth were, "God gives us what we can handle." But you know what? That's not true. God gives us what HE can handle through us.
In the grand scheme of things that can go wrong, skin infections seem to be rather minor. I have other friends with cancer who have to have blood transfusions due to low platelet counts. I have friends who don't respond well to the anti-nausea meds and vomit uncontrollably for days and weeks on end. Other friends have white blood cell counts don't return to normal in time for chemo and they have to wait and wait and wait.
It's not easy, but God WILL deliver me. That's not to say that He is going to definitely heal me in a physical manner (although, that's what I ask for). When I say that He will deliver me, it's to say that I trust in Him to remain constant in His love for me. That's the true deliverance.