iwantmorethanapinkribbon
  • Blog
  • My story

It's all about my attitude?

3/21/2016

8 Comments

 
Picture
I've had a difficult and challenging month.  The dishwasher broke; I wrecked my car; my cat got a gum infection; my mother-in-law's dementia noticeably increased; when I tried to get a new dishwasher installed, I was told I needed plumbing repairs done first ... and I got halfway through the repair project before I realized I couldn't do it myself; my husband has traveled out of country for close to two weeks; I've driven myself to my weekly chemo sessions, my children to their ortho appointments and my mother-in-law to her dental appointments; I've tried to maintain a sense of normalcy in my teens' lives in spite of the fact that this month hasn't been "normal" at all ...

And a friend posts this sign from her oncologist's office.

Yes, this was in an oncology clinic.  Just imagine a patient waiting for test results ... that come back cancerous ... seeing this board and thinking that s/he has to have a good attitude in order to not have a bad day.

I think if it had been in the clinic I go to that I would have blown a gasket. 

My attitude has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I'm having a good or bad day.  Why can't we just give people permission to have bad days?  Why do they always have to be good? 

Stop bullying people to be a part of the Cult of Optimism that permeates North American society.

If there were any "true" statement (for me) to be said on a white board, I think it would be, "The only difference between a good day and a bad day is a good night's sleep."

I'm exhausted and will likely get a blood transfusion this week ... that will help negate bad days as well.  However, just stop with the change-your-attitude crap.  This white board literally made a bad day even worse.
8 Comments
Janet Juarez link
3/21/2016 06:23:13 pm

Hello, I am praying for You and I love You, and I know that I don't personally know You, but I am not having a good several years. I know what you mean, but right now I will stop writing because I am going to start crying.

Reply
Eileen Rosenbloom link
3/22/2016 12:21:39 am

Even before I read your commentary, I reacted just seeing the picture of the sign. If that had been in my oncologist's office, I would have asked him to take it down and told him why. I'm with you, Vickie. So sick of people bullying us to be artificially optimistic.

I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time. With all you're dealing with, you're entitled to have a bad day! And btw, I haven't forgotten about us getting together. For my own reasons, I haven't been feeling well, but I'm hoping one of these days, when we both have actual good days, we can meet up. Sending you love and hugs.

Reply
Nancy's Point link
3/22/2016 06:40:19 am

Hi Vickie,
I loathe this kind of inappropriate "advice". It's hurtful and potentially harmful as well. The fact this appeared in an oncologist's office makes it even worse. And yes, you have had a challenging month. Hope things calm down for you on all fronts. Thank you for the post. Well said.

Reply
Kimberly link
3/22/2016 11:52:59 am

This sign seen in an oncology office? Are you fucking kidding me? Pretty sure I would be needing a new oncologist. And to punch somebody in the face.

Reply
Kathi link
3/23/2016 06:15:43 am

Wow. I'm appalled that such a thing would appear in an oncologist's office. As if. Love your phrase, the Cult of Optimism. Hate this magical thinking that persists in promoting the notion that one's attitude has anything at all to do with what happens on a given day or whether you get cancer or not. Are all the people we've lost to cancer to blame for having a bad attitude?? I think not. Grrr.

Reply
Denise Paulsen
3/25/2016 08:32:29 am

Oh please. I mean does anyone really buy into this sort of happy face delusion? It's so fucking annoying. Especially for the intelligent. Meantime contain your facebook childlike whimsy to a fantasy world, which never involves regular visits to an oncology clinic. ... Oh yeah. The attitude. I live in Canada. Our national hero was a young fella named Terry Fox who traveled from coast-to-coast hopping on one leg. He'd lost the other to cancer. But Terry, well he must've been a miserable guy with a bad attitude. He died tragically at the age of 19. So don't talk about attitude within the context of cancer. There's no correlation. Terry Fox had the best attitude in the world. It made no difference. Thank-you Vickie for sharing your thoughts. Loves. xo

Reply
Georgina Aldridge
3/27/2016 12:07:57 am

Attitude, shmatitude!! My SIL had the greatest attitude when she struggled with advanced lung cancer!! She was going to fight it and stay strong, all her rellies and mates and even just acquaintances in the hospital said, you're so gorgeous and have a wonderful smile and personality and must fight it..you'll beat it for sure!! Her reply: I'm strong I'm going to beat it don't you worry I'll fight and I'll survive I've got too much to live for to give up yet!! She died a few months later. You know it was true that she had a great smile was gorgeous and had THE best attitude BUT she wasn't strong and could NOT beat advanced cancer!!
ITS THE DEVIL!!

Reply
Sewa Mesin Fotocopy link
3/27/2016 08:43:26 am

Great post, thanks for sharing

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    God's Story

    _I believe we all have a story. This blog records my story and how I've lived with breast cancer both as a primary disease and a terminal disease.  I believe this is all a part of God's story for my life. This blog unapologetically includes all areas of my life: my faith, my family and my advocacy for change in the metastatic breast cancer world.

      

    The Best Metastatic Breast Cancer Blogs of the Year
    Healthline

    Archives

    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All
    Blood Test
    Breast Cancer
    Chemo-cap
    Chemotherapy
    China
    China Post Office
    Construction
    Fish Testing
    Hair Cut
    Hair Loss
    Her2
    Hong Kong
    Humor
    Joy
    Losing Eyebrows
    Nadir
    Pink Ribbon
    Shengli
    Staging
    Starfish
    Symbolism
    Tnm Rating
    Tumor Shrinkage
    Victory
    White Cell Count
    Xile

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.