I imagine my friends are tired of me as well.
I'm tired of seeing and experiencing life through cancer.
I'm tired of thinking that what I know about cancer trumps what others know about cancer.
I'm tired of thinking my opinion is best.
I'm tired of thinking I'm always right.
I'm tired of interpreting others' words as being directed towards me or towards my life experience. That's paranoia.
I'm tired of thinking the universe is about me. That's even more paranoia.
I'm tired of thinking everyone should be sensitive to my situation.
I'm so tired of me.
I beg of you all to please forgive me. I'm still under construction, even with the flawed DNA that my body has become.
Four years of non-stop treatments have altered not only my body, but my mind and probably my thinking as well.
I'm so tired of me but I'm not tired of you.
Today is St. Patrick's Day and I pray this prayer:
May the Strength of God pilot me.
May the Power of God preserve me.
May the Wisdom of God instruct me.
May the Hand of God protect me.
May the Way of God direct me.
May the Shield of God defend me.
May the Host of God guard me.
Against the snares of the evil ones.
Against temptations of the world
May Christ be with me!
May Christ be before me!
May Christ be in me,
Christ be over all!
May Thy Salvation, Lord,
Always be mine,
This day, O Lord, and evermore. Amen.
I'm so tired of me.
I'm so tired of.
I'm so tired.
I'm so.
I'm.
I'm.
I'm so.
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired of.
I'm so tired of me.
Please, Lord, be seen in me in spite of my failures.