Today was Day 1 of whole brain radiation. I got there right on time (in spite of traffic snafus) and pretty much fell asleep in the waiting room. I've been going at top speed for a while and took the time to rest.
They called me back at 2:15. Today's session took about a half hour due to continued set up, but it was painless. In spite of the green beam, one does not see the radiation. Some people can smell the ozone, though.
I then saw the nurse for vitals and the radiation oncologist did a quick check-in and I was finished. In and out in 1:15. No complaints on my part. The remainder of my sessions will be at 7:45 each morning so that I can have my days free.
I've been feeling better than I have in ages, probably due to the steroids I'm on. I think they have reduced inflammation throughout my body and I'm eating better. I'm getting things done and overall, sleeping okay. The heat makes it hard, though, but that will pass. I do notice some anger trigger points that while I recognize the triggers, I don't necessarily know how to cope with them. The drugs don't help that one.
I've almost had a sense of euphoria that we have an optimistic plan in place. When this is combined with how well I'm feeling, I literally have to remind myself that this is NOT curing the cancer. It's still everywhere. That can be sobering. There's no cure for this so the roller coaster of emotions continues. Overall, though, it's all good for now.
Actively living while conscientiously dying keeps me in a strange state of awareness of all that is around me, be it good or bad.
Maybe that's what is meant when it's said to live in the moment.
They called me back at 2:15. Today's session took about a half hour due to continued set up, but it was painless. In spite of the green beam, one does not see the radiation. Some people can smell the ozone, though.
I then saw the nurse for vitals and the radiation oncologist did a quick check-in and I was finished. In and out in 1:15. No complaints on my part. The remainder of my sessions will be at 7:45 each morning so that I can have my days free.
I've been feeling better than I have in ages, probably due to the steroids I'm on. I think they have reduced inflammation throughout my body and I'm eating better. I'm getting things done and overall, sleeping okay. The heat makes it hard, though, but that will pass. I do notice some anger trigger points that while I recognize the triggers, I don't necessarily know how to cope with them. The drugs don't help that one.
I've almost had a sense of euphoria that we have an optimistic plan in place. When this is combined with how well I'm feeling, I literally have to remind myself that this is NOT curing the cancer. It's still everywhere. That can be sobering. There's no cure for this so the roller coaster of emotions continues. Overall, though, it's all good for now.
Actively living while conscientiously dying keeps me in a strange state of awareness of all that is around me, be it good or bad.
Maybe that's what is meant when it's said to live in the moment.
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